4 -MOTHER'S NEW DAUGHTER

I sat looking at this gorgeous creature trying to see her face and her age. Suddenly she turned around and waved. "It's me!" she yelled. "It's me, your mom!" That's not being yourself, is it?

THE HAIRCUT...

"Jesse! Get in the house at once" yelled my mother. I broke off my conversation with my buddy, Randy, and marched to the door. "Don't have a cow!" I yelled in her face. "Get into your room right now young man!" Mother screamed. She was furious.

I slammed the door behind me as I stomped to my room. "No phone calls young man!" Mother yelled through the door.

I was starting my junior year in high school in September and Mother was fearful for me. I was a late bloomer---way behind of the other guys in bodily development.

What I didn't have in stature, I made up for in audacious behavior. I was always the one to take a dare and usually the only one caught. The principal called home many times.

My increased interest in girls also scared Mother. I would spend hours in my room on the phone talking to various guys about the chicks. I guess it was the way I talked about them that scared her.

She over heard me saying what I'd like do to this chick or that chick. In public, she saw me gawking at anything in a skirt. She would say, "Jesse, it's rude to stare at a woman like that!"

"She shouldn't dress like that! She's asking for it." Mother had a rough time raising me by herself and the road was only getting rougher as I came of age.

As Mother sat on the couch in silence thinking how to resolve her problem she could hear me talking to Randy. He was as girl crazy as I was.

"You're not going to end up as male swine!" Mother said to me more than once. One day she arose from the couch and placed her ear against my door. She could hear me talking on the phone. .I know she wants it!" I said, "Did you see that ass on her!"

"Hang that phone up now young man!" Mother suddenly screamed as she barged into my room. I was startled as

SANDY THOMAS ADV. -5

she grabbed the phone from my hand and said, "Bye Randy!" She quickly hung up the phone.

"Jesse you are grounded for a week" Mother said. "You have no respect for women!"

"Mom! You can't do that! It's summer!" I cried. "You're grounded and that's final!" yelled Mother as she walked back into the kitchen. "I don't know you anymore."

Mother could still hear me yelling about the grounding when the phone rang. "Hello" Mother answered. "Hi, is Jesse there? This is Randy."

"Randy, Jesse is grounded for the next week. No phone calls please," Mother said.

"OK," said Randy. Mother said good-bye and hung up as I stormed out of my room in a huff. "Was that Randy?!"

"I told him no phone calls while you are grounded," Mother replied.

"You're so mean. I hate you!" I yelled. Mother grabbed me and turned me around. I was caught off guard and fell over her lap. "Whack! Whack! Whack!" went her hand across my bottom----HARD!

I began to bawl hard. I broke free and ran to my room. "Oh my God! How could I have hit him?" Mother thought. "I have not spanked him since he was a toddler."

Mother's hands shook as she tried to return to cooking dinner. Tears dropped from her eyes as she pondered how she was going to resolve this battle of wills. She happened to look at the pile of junk mail and magazines on the counter. "Cool Summer Do's" read the headline on a Woman Today Magazine sticking out from beneath the pile.

Mother flipped to the first page and she found a feature titled, "Cool Summer Do's". She began to look at the various hairstyles. As she flipped to the next page, one haircut instantly caught her eye. The model's face was the same shape as mine and her hair color was exactly the same. The style was an ultra long blunt cut. The back and sides were blunt cut at the bottom making it full and move about nicely. Only the bangs were cut to just above the eyebrows. "That is really cute," Mother thought to herself.

She smiled, knowing that she just might have a solution